Have you had those times, when suddenly you feel overwhelmed by emotion, and you have to turn away, or move away, and just .. go away from that place? This emotion is of no particular nature, it could be a remembrance, the sight of someone, it's usually never words; I've noticed. It's also neither happy nor sad, it's just strong, and hence the above mentioned responses.
I had one of those in college last week, sitting outside, very randomly ... So I walked away rather suddenly.
You have no idea how healing looking at a road is. Now that the weird statement has been made, let me explain. In my previous house, my room had a balcony attached, and it overlooked a main road, NH-8, no less; so quite invariably, it was a very busy road. People used to ask me, beta, shor se disturb nahi hote? - Being in 12th the purpose of our existence seems to be to study. But I always denied it. Fact is, the constant drone of the cars was ... like music to me, it was a part of living in that room. It didn't seem noisy, disturbing, discordant; it was regular, melodic, and soft. All I had to do was raise my head from my desk, and I could see the endless rows of shiny lights, red and yellow. I'd got so used to it that those odd moments when there was no car on the road, I'd lose focus of what I was reading and wonder what was wrong. But why the magical calming effect? It's probably the fact that no matter what's happened and no matter what's happening, the road is one place that doesn't stop. And people move, quite literally, but also figuratively, brushing aside everything else. Some are born, some die, some lose, some win, but whatever the reason, people travel nonetheless. We don't stop moving just because some project didn't go right, or even if there's a bomb threat in the nearby area. The road's busy, all day and all night.
And sitting there, looking at those people driving away, some of them Punjabis, with very, very loud music playing, it was like the road is the route to escape, that they're also moving away from their problems, probably to another problem, and the drive in between the problem and the destination is the part that offers most solace.
So I went to this little hill in our college, honestly, it isn't a hill, just shaped like one; and I sat, and stared at the road. I saw cars and bikes and cycle-rickshaws, and they all looked so busy and so occupied, like work is the one thing that gives us relief from thinking, and to avoid dwelling on possibly morbid topics, that each one of us seems to have in so much abundance, they'd chosen to concentrate on driving, and on the road. And in a matter of moments, the emotion in me had subsided, and I was ready to go back up to my room and face the next thing life threw at me.
I had one of those in college last week, sitting outside, very randomly ... So I walked away rather suddenly.
You have no idea how healing looking at a road is. Now that the weird statement has been made, let me explain. In my previous house, my room had a balcony attached, and it overlooked a main road, NH-8, no less; so quite invariably, it was a very busy road. People used to ask me, beta, shor se disturb nahi hote? - Being in 12th the purpose of our existence seems to be to study. But I always denied it. Fact is, the constant drone of the cars was ... like music to me, it was a part of living in that room. It didn't seem noisy, disturbing, discordant; it was regular, melodic, and soft. All I had to do was raise my head from my desk, and I could see the endless rows of shiny lights, red and yellow. I'd got so used to it that those odd moments when there was no car on the road, I'd lose focus of what I was reading and wonder what was wrong. But why the magical calming effect? It's probably the fact that no matter what's happened and no matter what's happening, the road is one place that doesn't stop. And people move, quite literally, but also figuratively, brushing aside everything else. Some are born, some die, some lose, some win, but whatever the reason, people travel nonetheless. We don't stop moving just because some project didn't go right, or even if there's a bomb threat in the nearby area. The road's busy, all day and all night.
And sitting there, looking at those people driving away, some of them Punjabis, with very, very loud music playing, it was like the road is the route to escape, that they're also moving away from their problems, probably to another problem, and the drive in between the problem and the destination is the part that offers most solace.
So I went to this little hill in our college, honestly, it isn't a hill, just shaped like one; and I sat, and stared at the road. I saw cars and bikes and cycle-rickshaws, and they all looked so busy and so occupied, like work is the one thing that gives us relief from thinking, and to avoid dwelling on possibly morbid topics, that each one of us seems to have in so much abundance, they'd chosen to concentrate on driving, and on the road. And in a matter of moments, the emotion in me had subsided, and I was ready to go back up to my room and face the next thing life threw at me.
1 comment:
The day on the steps, hmmm?
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