Wednesday, November 3, 2010

And it's the end of another day at college.

Annnnd I don't know what I'm feeling ...

From bored, disinterested, weird people, strange place, I've come to a not-so-bored, bogged, tired, entertained, weird people stage. Some progress, that. That means I like college.

There was this one night, a couple of months back, when I was just walking along the central corridor in the hostel, watching girls chatting, laughing, giggling on their phones, and I thought - 'I like hostel' and in that moment I had accepted the curfews, the boring lectures, the (apparent) strain of the academics, and the people, strange or not. In that one moment, 'this' college became 'my' college and hostel became home.  

Now it's festival time, and hostel's nearly empty. With project submissions due, it's not so much celebration time as work time. 

This is also the end of a certain phase, the first of my college life.  I'll wake up new tomorrow.

Listening to Soulmate - Natasha Bedingfield.

'Somebody tell me, why I am alone, if there's a soulmate for everyone'

It's the music, not the lyrics, that attracts me to this song. '.... Incompatible, it don't matter though'



"All I can be is me - whoever that is."



Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I Wish the Bubbles on my Screen-saver were Real

I wish the bubbles on my screen-saver were real
I wish the tears in my heart would dry
I want to have a good, bad fight right now
I want to have a good long cry.
I wish the world would right itself
I wish there were stores selling sensitivity, and feeling
So everyone could have a bit of them
I wish people weren’t poor. I wish I could wish away all deprivation.
I wish life was all that happy, and people all that good.
I wish everyone would wish for all that I wish, so it might just come true
I wish the bubbles on my screen saver were real.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Feeling ... Sunny?

Its the third last week of my last holidays before college!

And I'm quite glad. I shall be a student of National Law University, Delhi from the 2nd of August. Sounds good. Really good.

This is probably the time I should feel overwhelmed about how my childhood is over, and I'm stepping into the emphatically-called 'big bad world'. This is when I get to know how bad it really is. ..
Point is, I'm not really feeling anything; not overwhelmed, not overly excited, not .. nothing extraordinary. I generally don't get too happy about stuff, but I expected this time to be different. I mean, I felt so bad about not making it to NLSIU, so why am I not feeling good about making it to the next best?

Nevertheless, a chillaxed life with no work doesn't suit me: and this is the one thing I've learnt this summer. I lose my marbles, laugh at the most inane things, become anti-social at times, and act like a patient of manic depressive disorder. Its not even funny.

I went to shop for buckets and mugs for hostel today. Lol. As silly as it may sound, its quite essential na.

One thing I am happy about is that a lot of my friends will remain in Delhi. I guess that's something to be thankful about.

Anyway, more news later.
:)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Jade

Salvete!

Today Ma had a small party with her friends at home. So I had my own small party too; dearest Nikita came over after oh-so-long! I had a truly great time sweetie (even if you didn't ;))!

Did more packing; now all the crockery and cutlery is in boxes. Tomorrow the same fate awaits the living room crystals.

TV is getting more mundane than ever; actually it may not even be their fault: who can come up with great movies everyday of the week?

Listening to Scarlett Johansson - The Last Goodbye. Its soothing and sweet.

I'm hoping NLU - Delhi puts up the final list tomorrow. The St Stephens interview is on 17th and I'm eager to miss it, although my parents are totally for me going it. That's not the problem; the problem is that I know I should go, but I don't feel like. I hope I can miss it. That could happen only if I see NLUD's list tomorrow, hence my fervent impatience.

'Sall for now,
Till tomorrow,

Yours

Monday, June 14, 2010

More on Today

Hello!

One, I've got another blog now - http://thenthperspective.blogspot.com/  devoted specially to photography. Do check  it out.

Two, wait .. let's get back to the non-numbered format ...

So today we started minor packing. Why, you ask. We need to leave this place by the 31st of July, so we'll be moving to a nearby colony soon. Won't matter to me much; I'll be going off to hostel. Waiting for that transition with great impatience.

Oh and what's with MTV's obsession with airing programmes of the by-gone era repeatedly? The spoofs, Roadies 5, everything is 'aged', and old is so not gold with TV shows ...

Also, the FLITE advert. now that's shittiness extreme.

Listening to All the Lovers Live - Kylie Minogue. Its from her recent album - Aphrodite, for which she's reportedly put in a lot of effort into her look. ;P
Watch - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n_tn_4QzVQ&feature=topvideos

Okay, I'm going to go now. Good night!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Just some pictures of the rain today ... see if you can make out the droplets!













=)

New Beginnings

Hey y'all!

Long time ... I know. But I've been doing things. Hence. :)

Today it rained - gorgeous, splattering rain. Unfortunately it didn't last more than fifteen minutes, but that quarter of an hour was better than a lot of days we've seen living in Delhi. So yeah!

Listening to Raise Me Up - Westlife. This is one band I enjoying listening to at moments like these.

'You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.'

Beautiful! 

What's more; yesterday I thought I'd do 'something constructive' and picked up some French tutoring books. I read a couple of pages, attempted to learn up everything, but lost interest in half an hour. So today I started learning Latin on Youtube. People go all technology this and technology that, so why not use it! Its been fun till now, let's see if the enthusiasm lasts till tomorrow. 

Also, I've taken heavily to playing rummy with my mother for at least 3-4 hours a day. Thankfully without the involvement of money! But really, its great fun; and I'd never really played cards before this, so this is recently discovered time-pass. 

And that's all for now. 

Will write later, valete! (Latin for 'bye')

P.S If you're interested, check out this poem - http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/poets/elizabeth_bishop/poems/938.html  on Rain!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Back Home

Yo!

Returned from Pune this morning. I'd gone for the Symbiosis group discussion and personal interview (henceforth referred to as GDPI).

Yes, it was good. GD was decent. The topic was un-stimulating - Police Reforms. But our job is to talk, not evaluate. so yeah, I had things to say, and I made sure I didn't interrupt others or act too smart. PI was another thing altogether. My first real kind of interview was - awesome! There were two people; a man and a lady, who were friendly but also quite formidable. They asked me routine stuff about myself and my interests. Then about why I wanted to do law, and then asked me to give an introduction to the Constitution. Also about my chosen course - BBA LLB. At the end, the lady said 'I think you can come to Symbiosis' and the man said 'All I can say is - come back soon!'

I think those are all the indications of a good interview, if I may say so myself. ;P

But NLU Delhi still remains the better option, so let us see. Meanwhile, Mamma is still more strongly disposed towards DU: do Eco (Hons) then go to London School Of Economics and so on. Simply, I'm in a dilemma at exactly the wrong time.

Wishing things get clearer soon,
Nidhi

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Down Down Down

CLAT mein gang rape ho gaya.

Rank 623. I'm positive there's been a mistake; I had done well. Truly. But the concept of re-evaluation doesn't exist in such entrances. So everybody is helpless. I can only thank God I'm nearly through National Law University Delhi. I have a law college to go to; and one that is very good. Otherwise I'd have had to go Delhi University, where doubtlessly I'd have been in an awesome college because of good board results but I wouldn't have been doing Law.

So I guess I shouldn't complain. Still, the human heart always desires more. Its worse because I felt I deserved it. Anyway, no point cribbing irrationally.

Listening to 'So gaye hai' from Zubeidaa. What a pitiful contrast from this morning :P

Will wake up to a new day tomorrow. =)

Meaningless Musings

CLAT results at 9 pm tonight.

Seriously, WTH! What sense does it make to give it out so late? They might as well have given them out tomorrow ..

Its not even funny.

After that initial outburst of irrational frustration I am feeling more calm :P

Listening to Gabriella Cilmi - Warm this Winter. It is summer but I'm already waiting for winter. Although that's not why I'm listening to the above song, but still ..

It’s gonna snow outside
The weather will be cold
But I’m gonna be warm (ho ho) this winter 



What a fun song! I haven't liked any of Cilmi's other songs though - the likes of 'On a Mission', or 'Save the Lies'; they are on a completely different plane from Warm this Winter. 


Went on scribd today. I wonder what documents people post on it: I really can't think.


I cannot wait to watch I Hate Luv Storys! I'm totally hooked by the whole look of the movie, and even Imran Khan is looking good, and expressive, a welcome change. =)


As I had rightly predicted, the papers are full of pictures of people applying for DU. Strangely, all of those kids, who are as old as me, or younger, look so grown-up and mature. I seriously doubt if I'd look that grown-up if I came in the papers. I understand its a really silly thing to be thinking, but its true!


Anyway, Enrique's always such a pleasure to listen to. Yes, I'm one of those who still like him. Some of his songs are ignored by people: ones like 'I have always loved you', 'Could I have this kiss forever' among others are examples.


Lunch is waiting, so I gotta leave now, will write tomorrow, hopefully with a great CLAT result!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Aaj ki Khabar

Played Brainvita/Peg today. Four rounds. Pegs left:
4
3
3
3 respectively.


Listening to 'The way I loved you' - Taylor Swift. Nice-ish. Very energetic for Swift though.


Apart from that, I'm listening to a whole lot of Western classical music - Piano, Cello, Violin, Clarinet etc.
Fun stuff, when you come to think about it.


You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you



And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you


Nice!


I realised day before that when Sid (of Wake Up Sid) says 'Usne teri khuddari ko lalkara hai! Be a man!', it actually a copy of Akash's dialogues from Dil Chahta Hai. Yes, so now you know I have nothing to do ;)


Anyway, So DU admission forms are available now. And I'm not going to be one of those standing in long queues in the searing heat. My mom suggested I should exchange board marks with somebody; cos I need over 50%  only, but that someone may need a lot more. Very benevolent. But not possible.


Today's weather is kind of funny. Since midnight there's this kind of stormish sky, with great noisy winds and also thundering noises. At least its possible now to go out of the house. So no complaints. 


29th is right here now. Tomorrow is to us as wednesday was to aspiring IIT-ians: result time. Let's see what happens. 


Then to Pune on 31st. Yay.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Rut - Exorcism

JLT

Hey All!

You will today find me in a greatly improved mood as compared with my last post.

I have sort of become more accustomed to the emptiness in my routine and my lifestyle has adapted remarkably. Case in point - I now take an hour to get ready in the morning as opposed to the 15 minutes I took during school time. Yes, I brush for a whole of five minutes.

I watched Kites day before. Hrithik Roshan is good. He's acted quite well, and its almost solely his movie. So yeah. Mori is not even remotely good. But the guys will like her ;)

I watched Twilight too. On TV. And I liked it. This particular occurrence would have been quite unimaginable to me earlier, but I did. Stewart is So dull, but the rest is quite good. Even Robert Pattinson was tolerable in spite of his very limited acting prowess. But I liked the whole persona of the not-so-typical vampire.

Listening to Lost Inside Your Eyes - Eric Nicholas. What an absolutely amazing guy!

'I'm lost inside your eyes. Its like an ocean.' Wow!

Will go over to a friend's today to borrow some books. Primarily. Let's see.

Apart from that, I need to go swimming! Like really go swimming. But I'm just so full of inertia sometimes.

I think I'll go tomorrow ..

Friday, May 21, 2010

THE BIG BOAR

I'm bored bored bored bored bored bored bored so Bored!

I have nothing to do
I'm fed up of myself, which is a first
I wish I had more entrances and I had to study.

Call me crazy, but maybe I am right now.
There's only so much TV that one can watch
And so much net surfing that one can do
There's so much reading one can do
And so much sleeping too.

I feel like doing something
Then realise there's nothing I can
I want work!
I want to study!
Please!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Kya Hai Ye?

CBSE results - 21st May.
Two days from now. Friday 8 am.

Need I say more?

No, I'm not nervous; I don't do such terribly human things. I'm okay. It was going to come out one day or the other. No tension. Specially since I'm not depending on those marks to get me anywhere (Bless the holy Lord). Not now. It was an effective back-up once upon a time, but 126 in Symbiosis has changed that. But I don 't like not doing well, hence the assumed importance.

Had a friend over today. Watched 'What a Girl Wants', again. Didn't like it today either. But fun nevertheless. Amanda Bynes is cute, and she only appears as if she is fat (those cheeks), she is not. Never mind, since I have no formerly rock-band member, now standing for elections, Lord of a father with the most beautiful 'mansion' in UK.

Anyway, my plan for friday with my three beloved friends is all awash because of the board's announcement. Very uncool. But what can one do, so 'grin and bear it stupid, do not bleat.'

Let's hope for the best.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Boar of Boredom

As you may have noticed, I've suddenly got into photography. Actually, its not sudden at all. I've always had some kind of strange fascination for pictures and for people who took nice pictures. :)
But I could never break the inertia and actually take the camera out and click. However, now that I have nothing else to occupy my mind, I thought, I have a great camera (okay, maybe not really, but that's not important), I have a great mind *wink*, I have time, and I can see. What more does one need to take photos, right?

So I have started, let's see where I end up. Whether this remains a mere amateurish interest or becomes more, I cannot say now, but I'm having fun at the moment and that's all I really care about right now.

Also, I went and watched Badmaash Company today. Shahid Kapoor is irritating, but the rest are okay. Its a very typical Bollywood film with a message and all, but okay entertainment. So I'm not complaining. More importantly, I bought Unexpected Blessings, and so will end the series Woman of Substance by Barbara Taylor Bradford that I deeply loved. I got the God of Small Things too, by Arundhati Roy. Will give reviews once I finish.

For now, that's it.
Cheers to a great time reading!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Chhoti si Aasha

I want to be a biker
and travel wide all alone

I want to feel the rush of air
On my face
and feel my hair flying

I want to learn to play the cello
Wear that dress and play on stage.

I want to see people standing in ovation
I want to be deafened by their applause.

I want to read my name on book-covers
I want to read fabulous reviews on the back

I want to be quoted by them, I want to be heard.

I want to influence. I want to inspire.
I want to affect, I want to move.

Move hearts, move feelings
Move people, move nature

I want to change, yes I want to change
I want to change this very world. I want to transform every cloud every leaf every speck.

I want I want I want.

More Random Doodles

Hey!

This Is Result Fortnight! Let’s call it a killer phase, because .. well simply because it is. Yes, NLUD acted all funny and gave the results in (not again) a fortnight. And I was short of one mark to make it to the first list. SO SAD. Mamma said the same thing; couldn’t you have got one mark more for your own good? True. But being as I am, I thanked God I didn’t get one mark less. Or I’d be tied with twenty other people and the board results would assume much more importance. So I’m right on top in the waiting list, and I don’t mind it as much as I probably should. Symbiosis came out yesterday. Only the marks though, no ranks and all. I’ve done well. Although I secretly wish I had got 126 in NLUD. But all is well. Until now at least. Board results are expected on either 20th or 21st of this month. That’s less than a week from now. And 29th is the date for CLAT. God!

And, I cannot say this often-er: I hate summers. The heat, the humidity, the inability to feel fresh ever, the disdainful moods all around. And people say they feel lazy in the winters. Tell me what keeps you spirited and jovial and ever-adventurous in this climate. Tell me what makes you want to go out and do anything, be it roaming around, studying, or shopping. Cos I don’t feel like stepping out of my air-conditioned room for one moment.

Plus, I have nothing to read. First thing I’m doing tomorrow is going to a book shop. I hope. And I think I’ve watched every movie that Zee Studio, Star Movies and HBO have in their stocks. And at least half of Sony Pix’s too, most of what remain are those I have no desire to watch. So watching runs and re-runs and re-re-runs of Castle is what I do now. Seriously. Pitifully. And I’ve discovered something: Fillion is not so attractive at first, but he grows on you, until you find him very, very sexy. Katic, on the other hand, seems really nice at first, but she loses appeal as you watch and watch every day. But I love her name – Stana Katic, so stylish!

This reminds me of a survey I once read about. This site has these pictures of various men and women, and viewers have to rank them on their attractiveness. Now the trick is that they often use different names for the same picture. And they found that some pictures with a particular name were ranked higher than the same picture with a different name! Meaning that an average looking Mary would rank lower than the same average looking Natasha! Very interesting, isn’t it? 

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Now

Hello

So yes I got a site yesterday. And yes, I was excited. And yes, I was disappointed. There are no good widgets; you have useless stuff like weather and all. I mean come on who goes to someone's site to check the weather? Although this factor did not stop me from adding it :P

The interface is so un-user-friendly I don't even feel like updating it. I wish blogspot would offer sites. They are so clear in their designs; wordpress (god knows how its so popular) is so messed up.

Anyway, enough complaining for one post.

I watched Zubeidaa yesterday. For those of you who don't know, its an old Karisma Kapoor movie set around partition but not actually on it. Its about this Muslim girl who gets divorced by her husband because their fathers have an altercation. Silly? Definitely. Sad thing is, women throughout our civilisation have put up with such nonsense. And they refuse to support women who want to fight against dogma. Its like crabs who pull each other down to prevent them from getting out of the jar.

Anyhow she then falls in love with this king played by Manoj Bajpai, whom she later marries. So she's this girl who's voluble and beautiful and extremely temperamental because of which she feels like a chained bird in a cage with bars of royal customs and propriety and rules of conduct. When I had seen it as a kid, I'd perceived her to be the good girl and Bajpai's first wife (Mandira Devi) to be the bad woman. But yesterday, since I have grown up and I realise how some conventions need to be followed and how its harder to be disciplined than not, I saw Mandira Devi as the good one who has to put up with the rebellious and moody Zubeidaa; who in turn appeared to me to be without any sense or stability or any real, strong character. She was stubborn, volatile, selfish, and without insight or restraint. Funny how our perception changes over the years!

Its like this line in a song she performs in the movie:
Pagli hawayein mujhe jahaan bhi le jaye 
In hawaon ki saheli hoon main

Being like this might seem cool initially, but if one's nature were really like this, it would be a nightmare for everyone around, I think. By the way, there's a beautiful song called so gaye in the movie with awesome music. Do listen.

Movies like this and Pinjar are so beautiful and emotional that they leave you with this sadness which stays and gets aroused whenever you recall them.

Changing topic, I hate summers. Enough said.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

=)

Hey guys!

I now have a website: nidhichikkerur.webs.com

Do continue reading!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Disillusionment (I)

Today I saw another Delhi

I saw a Delhi semi-urban semi-rural

A Delhi that doesn't show the grandiose of a metro

I saw a place with narrow roads

I saw a place where houses still have hand-pumps outside

I saw a place where women still wash the porch themselves

I saw a place where men in vests still lounge around outside the house
Sitting on charpais
Squatting flies

I saw a place where little boys in torn shorts play on the road with marbles
While the little girls sit inside

A place where they educate their daughters just so they can get a better groom

A place where they may not have heard of fancy words like 'biotechnology' or 'USB drive'

A place where the woman is still expected to be subservient and obedient

I saw a place where boys our age sit in dilapidated rooms playing carrom.

I saw roofs of tin
Breathed the smoke of stoves

I saw the walls of mud
Felt the apathy of their minds.

Unfortunately, I saw the real India.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Smoke

Hey
These are the lyrics of one of my most favourite songs: its better with the audio. Still.
Hope you like it.


Smoke 
By Joy Walshe




I guess it just happens like that
One moment just another ordinary day
When the flame is blown out, blown back
Doubles up, flares up in your face

When you look away
Just one moment one day
Love is just blown away
Only smoke will remain
Lingers on for days and days

Smoke hide my eyes
Disguise the darkness I am living
Loving I have given away to you
Cause loving is loving you
Smoke hide my eyes
Do you still cry when you remember
Happiness together the way we knew?
Cause loving was me and you

The flame is the light you live in
Through the darkness
This love is gonna be the light you see
All you see, all you believe in
Til that moment
The spoken words as yet unheard
Were said by him

Slowly darkness begins
Smoke touches everything
Just one word said by him
Loving ends and smoke begins
Just one word that’s said by him

You’ll always be with me
I’ll carry a part of you
Your light is within me
Knowing you’re here
Knowing your fears
But loving you still

Darkness I am living
Loving I have given away to you
Cause loving is loving you
Smoke hide my eyes
Do you still cry when you remember
Happiness together the way we knew?
Cause loving was me and you
Me and you

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Sombreuil Roses

A shield, seemingly impenetrable
of mind games, of
false safety.
Struck once, and fallen.
For this, all these years?
Make a wall to break it?

Except LHS is not equal to RHS here;
Cos the wall has broken what was growing on it.

'Push yourself up' - they say.
On what?
What was built upon a fallacy is now in crumbles.
'That was real' - you cry:
Who hears?

Left with a mess.
'Left with a test;
For your strengths'
Or for your courage?

Will that collapse too?
If it is false.

Who's the judge? - you demand.
Who knows?
The doubt lies. The judge stays veiled. Your courage is burning.

But wait! is that a phoenix coming through?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Veritas

I'm listening to the same
new songs on the radio
while acting unconvincingly
that I'm studying;
'rate of population growth', 'job creation targets' ..

(Don't say alvida ... )

Two weeks left, I tell myself
Down from a month. Down from a year!
Its no more a put-off-able eventuality.
Its on my head:
Right here. Right now.

(Na kaho alvida ... )

My mom doesn't want me to leave Delhi.
I'm waiting to leave. Doesn't seem so likely now.

(Aj din chadeya ... )

I wonder if its true,
When most people say they miss home
when they leave.
I doubt I will. I'm known
to myself to be quite un-sentimental.

I'm not missing school either.
Or the 'friends'.

(Zinda hoon main ... )

This life of inertia pleases me.
They say I'm not ambitious.
But I am: I don't want
to work; hard or otherwise. (Doesn't that count?)

(Aj dil gustakh hai ... )

I want to be at my leisure. Always.
I want the security of a routine. Of
free time.

(Chidiya ghar se pakde hain ... )

Edging out rivals was never my thing.
Sometimes most things aren't.
Sometimes most things are.

I look at the calendar.
Two weeks left!

(Wake up Sid ... )

*Switches off radio*
*Opens a book*

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Walrus and the Carpenter


This is one of my favourite Lewis Carroll poems ever!


"The sun was shining on the sea,
    Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
    The billows smooth and bright --
And this was odd, because it was
    The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
     Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
    After the day was done --
"It's very rude of him," she said,
    "To come and spoil the fun."

The sea was wet as wet could be,
    The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
    No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead --
    There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
    Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
    Such quantities of sand:
`If this were only cleared away,'
    They said, `it would be grand!'

`If seven maids with seven mops
    Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose,' the Walrus said,
    `That they could get it clear?'
`I doubt it,' said the Carpenter,
    And shed a bitter tear.

`O Oysters, come and walk with us!'
    The Walrus did beseech.
`A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
    Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
    To give a hand to each.'

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
    But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
    And shook his heavy head --
Meaning to say he did not choose
    To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
    All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
    Their shoes were clean and neat --
And this was odd, because, you know,
    They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
    And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
    And more, and more, and more --
All hopping through the frothy waves,
    And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
    Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
    Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
    And waited in a row.

`The time has come,' the Walrus said,
    `To talk of many things:
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing-wax --
    Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot --
    And whether pigs have wings.'

`But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,
    `Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
    And all of us are fat!'
`No hurry!' said the Carpenter.
    They thanked him much for that.

`A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,
    `Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
    Are very good indeed --
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
    We can begin to feed.'

`But not on us!' the Oysters cried,
    Turning a little blue.
`After such kindness, that would be
    A dismal thing to do!'
`The night is fine,' the Walrus said.
    `Do you admire the view?

`It was so kind of you to come!
    And you are very nice!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
    `Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf --
    I've had to ask you twice!'

`It seems a shame,' the Walrus said,
    `To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
    And made them trot so quick!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
    `The butter's spread too thick!'

`I weep for you,' the Walrus said:
    `I deeply sympathize.'
With sobs and tears he sorted out
     Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
     Before his streaming eyes.

`O Oysters,' said the Carpenter,
     `You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
     But answer came there none --
And this was scarcely odd, because
     They'd eaten every one.


Oh and please catch me on another blog: nidhichikkerur.blogspot.in

Monday, April 19, 2010

To the Moon


Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
Among the stars that have a different birth, -
And ever changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?


- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Sophía

Often I have wondered
What must it be like to die?
How does it feel?
Painful or painless?

What does one think?
- Of achieved glories and exploits,
Of debts unpaid,
Or of emotions buried?

Does one feel sad to leave the stage,
Or happy indeed in the final act of the play?
But alas! Who shall tell me this?
For I know none who's
dead and come to demystify this truth of life
Known to no scientist, answerable by no teacher ...

But one thing I know
A long life is not my desire
To be wretched and afflicted is not my way
With disease I do not want to sway

For now my friends, let us
Not choose our requiem
For we have books to read, and
Places to see
And miles to go before we sleep.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

reminisce

Another poem so soon, wow! Its proved therefore that writing does make your thoughts flow easily and fluently. (!)


I stand by the window
Hearing the diapason of memories
Somewhat dispassionately
Nursery, prep, ..... ...........
....., tenth, eleventh, ......

Somewhere it stops
A cuckoo breaks my reverie
What is this I'm doing? - I think
What is this time? - the calm before the storm?

Shifting fog defines this phase
Is this some legerdemain of life?

I stand by the window
I now look out, not in
Moving cars - red, black, one pink
I'm going to buy a bike, I
think, when I work.

The music has now fully stopped
Now a gone moment
Blessed oh Lord is the capacity to forget!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Overheadover

As I've mentioned before, I'm not much of a poet. Add to that a complete unfamiliarity with the pen over the past few years, and my skills are very doubtable. Despite all this, I have written something that I'd like to share here. Warning: Its not been edited. Plus, I wrote it in the middle of the night when I suddenly woke up with my head full of something.




I was born in the hour of the sun
Two scores and six (years) after Shastri's death
There was nothing remarkable about my birth
Nothing new about my height or girth.

To this day I have come
Some beauty some talent a lot of care
Wishing to somehow shift my path
To alluring greatness, life and style.

Wishing to somehow make a destiny
Without the regular worries of dime,
Without the worldly chains of time
I have come forth to reach across
Meet the horizon
And with a smile
Acclaim true light.




P.S: So much for believing in my 'abilities'. ;)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

(Not so) Random Ramblings: The Big A's

Heya!

There is scarcely one of us out there who has, at no point of childhood or adolescence, been asked about what s/he wants to do in life. I present no exception.

So I want to today, in written form acknowledge my Aims and Aspirations. Truth is, one never really knows about this, but one always has some kind of a vague understanding, if one judges their own behaviour.

I think aspirations consist of the values that are unbending to you: I want to be happy, I want to be powerful, or I want to leave my mark on the world. While aims are more defined achievements which help in fulfilling our aspirations.

Let me first talk about the more narrow career-oriented aims that are seemingly more important in today's world. I, as a child (till about 4th grade) wanted to be a doctor. I believe, on later thought, that this was because my father wanted to be a doctor too, and my grandmother always mentioned this to me. Then suddenly I realised that I didn't want that, and then for a year I had no 'aim'. This was followed by a long phase of wanting to be everything. I doubt there is a career I did not consider. From food technology to biotechnology to oceanography to entomology to anthropology ................. Yet there is one that I never planned to do: engineering. I'm fully certain that this is because I come from a family of engineers. My grandfather is an engineer, his two daughters are engineers, they were both married off to engineers, whose brothers too were engineers. This is my immediate blood family. If you look at my culture, the south of India, it is considered the most prestigious degree. I have reason to believe that even if my mother and her sister wanted to do something else, they will not have been allowed. This probably caused some sort of a repugnance in me towards it.

As for aspirations, I want to lead a life free from fear; of any sort. I don't want to be scared about what others think, about the effects my actions will cause, about when my boss will feel I have nothing to contribute, and also insecurity about my abilities. I never want to be hindered from doing anything by thinking about the consequences. People say we have a short life (I personally don't believe that, let us arguendo take it to be true), then why should we waste time and energy listing the pros and cons of each thing? Just do what you want to do, and have the courage to face what it results in, without attracting the ire of society. It cannot be all that bad if we do have a sort life, right? Everything will be over quickly then.

I once had a friend who, when he was little, wanted to be a truck driver. It amused his mother and other elders to repeatedly ask him that and laugh at it. Indeed it was funny. But usually, most of us want to do very grandiose things when we're children, but get over all such notions by the time we enter our teens. Its exceedingly rare to see someone who still believes that s/he can do anything, and everything. I have one particular friend who till date has multiple ambitions - musician, economist, international affairs strategist among others. And he believes that he can do all that, which is truly remarkable. He has avoided being bogged down by the relentless negativism of society; avoided being affected by all the supposedly mature and wise people who tell you to dream in your childhood, and instruct you to dismantle and discard them when you grow older. Its like the Samsung advertisement Aamir Khan did some time back - bachpan mein to itni cheezein karna chahte the, toh ab kyun nahi? or some equivalent tagline.

Today, I resolve to always and forever believe in myself and my abilities, even if it means to magnify them a little, as there is nothing that one cannot achieve if one tries hard enough .

Obviam excellentia!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

random ramblings

I want to be a lawyer see, and today I found this webpage that just changed my perception.
Check it out - http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

It makes my to be ilk look like such a class of dunces :P

If you haven't already, do listen to Eric Nicholas; I find his voice and singing quite addictive. His best are My Girlfriend is a Dime, Crazy on You, and Song for my Future Wife.

I watched Gotham Knight yesterday. I found it silly that they named Indian people Russell and Cassandra; what is the point - if just to make the names familiar, then why use the term fakirs anyway?

I used to write limericks when I was a kid, you know. But I just abruptly stopped, for a reason still unidentified. I aim to start writing soon: that and other stuff, although I was never much of a poet. That reminds me of a line in Ashokamitran's book: he said that poetry is the true pursuit of a genius; prose writing is meant for the 'patient persistent persevering drudge whose heart is so shrunken that rejection slips mean nothing to him...' Very interesting thought, isn't it? Yes, I'm writing that here in spite of the fact that this will mean I don't have much genius. ;)

Quote of the day: Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
                                                                                         - Albert Einstein

oncoming nostalgia

Hey there again
At this point of my life, I'm really nowhere. Its a period of seemingly un-ending waiting. waiting for the board results, waiting for the entrances to start, and also waiting for my mom to go out somewhere, so that I can watch tv a little more guiltlessly. preparation, is as usual heading nowhere; although I'm really pleased with myself today for going through half a book. But talking to strangely more serious people threatened to burst my bubble; but only just :)

Yesterday, I cleaned out my secondary cupboard. I had been postponing it, but got down to it at 2 in the morning (yes, I'm nearly nocturnal). Anyway, so I found these amazing things, which I of course knew existed, but had never really Really noticed! I'm sure that sounded strange, but then, risking a cliche, facts are stranger than fiction, right. I found old sequined very pretty clutches, a birthday gift I had never seen after after that day, and my old uniform. I also found my Kuchipudi ghungroos (bells); which I used to do when I was a child. They're like Kathak ghungroos (different from my present Bharatnatyam ones), two long thick strings of two rows of bells. I put them on immediately, and was reminded strongly of the hall where I learnt, my teacher who I've not seen since over 6 years, and the general delights of being young and free from responsibility. My life now presents such a contrast to my life then! But then, I must not sound like I have regrets; because most certainly I do not. However, I was forced to take them off too early for my liking, because well, simply because my neighbours wouldn't take it too well to be woken up by funny sounds from the house above.

Oh also, I'm so hopelessly in love with Taylor Swift's 'Breathe'; I cannot not sing it all the time. Underlined by Colbie Caillat's deeper vocals, it is so liltingly captivating! I also read Pride and Prejudice again. It seems so fresh and new even if you remember every line. I am such a fan of Jane Austen! (Although that may seem very out of character for me, because I mostly read thrillers)

And I've totally reached my saturation point with IPL; I kid not, I cannot stand another match. And my favourites - the Delhi Daredevils have lost the last three consecutively, making this condition only worse.

Till next time, chill out and keep it stylish!

P.S Sorry for that last part, I wanted to, just once, say that. :P

Thursday, April 8, 2010

reconciliation

Summer has indeed begun to show its effects - power cuts have started in the capital city too. :(

I'm still stuck in the middle of the large wave of law preparation. somehow, i don't know why, but i'm being quite unable to focus. its like those times your mind and body is screaming for a break; but you won't - cannot pause what you must do. in the case of law, its what i want to do, its what i have to do, but still this feeling of utterly despicable de-motivation won't leave me. 

i hope i can get on full swing in another week at the most ...

anyway, general knowledge. by god, who the hell made this subject? when i was younger, i actually liked reading encyclopedias and yearbooks et al. but that theory - of not wanting to do something once its required of you too do it, is so darn true. once i knew i was 'supposed' to read newspapers, i stopped. instantly. so sad right?



Monday, March 29, 2010

its all that .. (!)

hey guys!

that's two posts in a day, but then, that's the point right. expression and all that :)

re-discovered bruce springsteen today. 'the boys are back in town' and 'Cadillac ranch'. wow! no wonder he was so goddarn popular  =)

took a long walk today, got a friend over and drank awesome khus juice!

started entrance preparation like Finally! logical reasoning and all, its actually great fun you know; thinking which two statements are logically congruent, clocks and calenders, venn diagrams and all ...

i was thinking about *guess what* *pause*  MATHS today. i don't know one person who doesn't complain about taking (having, rather) maths. 'so hard', 'so much practice to do', 'so much left', 'bad teacher', 'i don't get anything' are like the first of a million complaints. and i have to admit, i'm not that great at maths. but i enjoy doing it; specially geometry. i promise ;P

i read these amazing quotes about it too.
here's a sample:

1) "In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them." 


2“Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.”


So cool, right? 

Roads and those

lets talk about the longest running show on indian television - roadies! i doubt there's a single one of us who hasn't seen even one episode of this famous, unpopular with parents, controversial reality show. ;)


some of us may think that all these people on roadies and splitsvilla are naturally this vicious and spiteful, and often, full of so much venom. but as yorish from the invasion said - "In the right situation, we are all capable of the most terrible crimes. To imagine a world where this was not so ... is to imagine a world where human beings cease to be human." 


this just means that when it comes to competition, in the right circumstances, we'd really do anything. this probably explains how and why mohit voted zaid out last week. when its a case of survival, we cease to have all those Christian values of compassion and benevolence et al. suddenly the thought of a mother snake eating her recently hatched young doesn't seem so gruesome, does it? :)


but this doesn't mean we are like that all the time. its important to remember that certain situations can bring out the animalistic instincts in us; it doesn't influence our daily life; which is affected by what we've learnt through civilisation. 

Sunday, March 28, 2010

happy happy!

Went to a friend's place today; early afternoon right until now. there is seriously nothing like spending a day alone with a close friend. i guess its your comfort level you know, you feel this ease with certain people, where you're never really censoring what you want to say; and doing what freud calls free association - talking whatever comes to mind and not blocking anything. it sometimes works as a stress buster (often, more like). remember the last time you ranted on and on about something to a friend on the phone, like for hours, and felt so amazing after that? ;)
if you do, then you know what i'm talking about.

and then we did the usual; walked in to a mall! just some window shopping, some brownie and chocolate eating, pepsi drinking, then back!

came back to what - more ipl watching. seriously now i'm fed up of it. there's so much cricket you can watch in a month right? i enjoy watching cricket, really. but too much of this is not good. for me.

now i'm planning to get back to some work, my studying for this year is so not over! starting slowly, i should be able to build a consistent pace in a week, by when it will totally be time to get headlong into this ..

cheerio!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

beginning

hey guys!
this is my second blog. the first one just didn't work; i had created it in some frenzy of enthusiasm after i read about all these successful bloggers .. i guess i wasn't me then to sit in front of this and type. now i'm hoping for a new beginning - like so many of us do so often .. not a problem i think, (to shoot another cliche at you) the world runs on hope. right?

i have got over with my class 12 boards. on 23rd in fact. now, i just enjoying what life is like without timetables and strict schedules and deadlines for everyday. not for long, though. entrance time is closer than i'd like to believe. so another two days; of mall-hopping and movie-watching, and then we're back to business :)

but i'll keep in touch with you and more importantly, with myself and my ideas.

have a good day!