And All Over Again,

I went to the Shani temple yesterday. Saturday's the auspicious day apparently. I have no idea why I subject myself to such things; I always come out of them complaining. I watched in utter blankness and complete marvel as tens of literate, most even educated people pour cups of oil and black sesame along with flowers on the idol. I can't begin to imagine the invasive, expansive reach of the concept of god, so much so that otherwise perfectly logical people can do such illogical things and believe that they'll have some effect.

It's amazing.

Meanwhile, I'm still surprised at how I'm forever looking forward to some sort of Hindi soap-like 5 year jump in my life. When I was in the tenth grade, I wanted to get to the proper studies of 12th. When 12th grade began, I couldn't wait to give my entrances and join college. Now that one year of college is over and I have a fair idea of what the rest of the stay is going to be like, I can't wait to start working. I try to remind myself of all of those Osho like sayings which tell you to live in the present and shit, but they're not helping. I don't like being dissatisfied with where I am, but this really peculiar want to just skip the bits that I can kinda predict - is unsettling. If this continues I'll be looking at retiring as soon as I start working. And the idea of that, needless to say, is not pleasant.

And so I'm listening to Puke - Eminem. Don't ask.