The Problem

So this week's been sorta 'enlightening'; in the sense of self-discovery. I learnt that my friends think that confiding is not a natural thing for me to do even with those I hang out a lot with. And that I have a perverted paranoia of looking vulnerable, and so I don't (among other things) talk about my insecurities.  Needless to say, this is all very puzzling to me, as I'd thought I 'shared' nearly just as much as others. Iss khushi (yaa dukh, as may fit better) mein:

I sit at this writing table
Writing about the wonder in my mind
Wonder at the workings of the people around me
Astonishment at what makes me odd.

What was thought natural, is now
Against how it ought to be
What was believed to be sensitivity
Is now a sense of manipulation.

The fountain spews out water
As far as it can;
It thinks that's what it should.
It doesn't see the grimaces on the faces getting wet.

It seems like a flaw,
But no one's correcting it
Is it even wrong?
- But no one's judging.

Like a pentagon-sided ball
I roll around awkwardly
Another side will make me even
But no one's distributing.

Am I from Venus?

Today is Gandhi Jayanti so I think it proprietary to think about him for a moment. So there I thought of him for a moment.

So today I was telling a friend about this other friend. Now this other friend is well, a guy and he was seeing this girl. Now this guy is what in my opinion is a really great guy; he's very smart, witty, not slow, no weird accent, fun, entertaining, and not those sly types. But this girl is one of those typical ones who is fun and generally nice, but is clingy, excessively temperamental, acts dumb, and almost always makes a show after getting drunk at parties. When I was talking, I realised that I know quite a few couples (I hate using that word) who are exactly like that: awesome guy, irritating girl. And it always shocks me, when such relationships begin, that a guy like that could like a girl like that. But I guess that's just one of those things we'll never understand about the other sex. 

I now remember how my friend from school used to point out that the cutest guys have the fattest, ugliest girlfriends. Now she was not saying that out of just spite; it was true. Now this sort of thing does influence my opinion of the guy in question and honestly, it does seem reasonable, because people's taste in people reflects on their personality by a large degree. 

That's enough cribbing for today.

Love thy life.

So on a random webpage today, I saw an ad that had a video and it said 'Hover for audio'. And I did. And this may sound juvenile but I was struck by it's awesome-ness. Now I'm hardly what you'd call a tech-freak. And to be honest I have neither ability nor interest in all of that. But the idea of moving your mouse pointer to a specific place to activate audio is so, SO cool. And I'm not sure how hard that is to do, but it still seems quite fantastic. 

That got me to think about how our lifestyle is full of these amazing things that we don't necessarily appreciate.Now I don't want to start on the whole be-thankful-for-all-that-you-have and the world-is-such-a-beautiful-place sermon, but it's kinda sad that we humans get accustomed to things so very easily. At one point of time motion sensor games had me awe-struck: now I'm just like, haan, khud se move hoti hai, what so great types. And well, as much as I don't want to use this phrase, we take it for granted. I'd love to be able to feel the initial excitement that I did when such stuff just started. I mean even  the fact that I didn't have to use inkpots and fill my fountain pen everyday because ink cartridges became available used to make me happy. 

So I think we should - when we're bored, at least - look at the everyday things we use and observe how it's made our lives so much more convenient. Like typing here instead of writing a journal, which is such a pain. And ctrl+F, which I hope can somehow be incorporated in every place I go to, like my room, my drawers, a tiny store in a maze of shops, and even real books. 

So let me go think about the many uses of plastic now.