A Working List of Things I Will Never Tell You

When I said I wasn’t with another girl
the January after we fell in love for the 3rd time,
it’s because it wasn’t actual sex.

In the February that began our radio silence,
it was actual sex. I hate the tight shirts
that go below your waistline.

Not only do they make you look too young,
but then your torso is a giraffe’s neck attached to tiny legs.
I screamed at myself in the subway

for writing poems about you still.
I made a scene. I think about you almost
each morning, and roughly every five days, I still

believe you’re there.
I still masturbate to you.
When we got really bad,

I would put another coat of mop water on the floor of the bar
to make sure you were asleep when I got to my side of the bed.
You are the only person to whom I’ve lied, knowing

I was telling the truth. I miss the way your neck
wraps around my face like a cave we are both lost in.
I remember when you said being with me

is like being alone with company.
My friend Sarah wrote a poem about pink ponies.
I’m scared you’re my pink pony.

Hers is dead. It is really sad. You’re not dead.
You live in Ohio, or Washington, or Wherever.
You are a shadow my body leaves on other girls.

I have a growing queue of things I know
will make you laugh and I don’t know where to put them.
I mourn like you’re dead. If you had asked me to stay,

I would not have said no.
It would never mean yes.




- Jon Sands
http://exceptindreams.livejournal.com/176573.html

I'm a rock chick in a hard rock world!

So I've seen MI2 like half a dozen times, but I still get the damndest knots in my stomach when I watch Cruise rock-climbing. How can you not: it's so real, even when you know it's well, not. :P I think I'm one of the very few people who still like him, though. And that's kind of sad. He's still very cool, and let's not forget this. On the other hand, the new The Mentalist ad on Zee Cafe makes me really happy. I cannot find it on youtube, but I did find a Sad Song. 


In updates, I watched Gangs of Wasseypur yesterday. They're right; it's brilliant. It's a celebration of awesome. It's a complete saga, it leaves nothing out, and is very entertaining. Shout out to Sneha Khanwalkar, who's the music director - apparently one of only three female music directors in Bollywood - for a supremely fantastic job. 


I read a biography of Aamir Khan by Christina Daniels called :I'll Do It My Way". It's good; it's short, doesn't linger on controversial things, covers everything and praises him too. But I felt it didn't really justify its title. It doesn't make him out to be as much of a non-conformist genius or an individualistic self-made dude as might be expected from the title. But then he's probably not like that at all. 


Now I'm reading Bertrand Russell. Book is called Marriage and Morals. It's about the change in society from matrilineal to patriarchal and how women's subjugation became necessary to maintain the latter. It's quite informative in the sense of very gently explaining how society changed and how it can be modified. I don't know if the book caused a stir then, but now it seems like a very padded blow. Then again, he was neither a feminist nor an anthropologist. 


Okay now I'm going to listen to Jarrod Radnich on repeat. 


P.S. The title of the post - one of the things that made Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara  so fun. :)

Rise - Eddie Vedder

Hello
This is the phase of holidays that is <I hate this phrase, but> "used constructively". I've been going to the office of my photographer/film-maker neighbour. Just to chill. Not like an intern or anything. And it's great fun! I have already written a (lame-ass) script, thought of concepts for advertising, and even seen a photo shoot. With like a model. Booyah. And I also witnessed an unexpected incident of female-female bonding, when an intern offered to give me the phone numbers of a couple of cute model dudes. That was a first.


So I watching Indian Idol yesterday and it had these auditions going on, and I was looking at the ticker that shows up at the bottom of the screen that gives you details about the contestants, when I noticed that most people were now younger than me. I mean initially they used to all be older! And now I am older! I don't know why that's a little unsettling, but it is. So I don't have the comfort of thinking that I'll be able to sing like them in a couple of years. Not that I have any singing ambitions. But still. It's nice to think you're going to grow and be able to do more things. And conversely not nice to know you're probably never going to be smarter, fitter, more flexible or as quick to learn as now. So maybe that's the issue that people have with aging. As opposed to the looks part, which they highlight; especially with women.  


Now I've to go be a weirdo and watch the Indian version of Dancing with the Stars. You're right, holidays do not help in developing my tastes. 

'Is there anything you're doing Brand New?'

So hmm. Another semester at super-awesome (-_-) law school is going to end. End sem exams will start on Monday. Of course, I can endlessly talk about how I haven't studied anything. But then you're not here to read about that. Or about how my friend is going to get an ipad at the end of this year. Or about how I did really badly at our internal moot selection. Or about how I lost my beloved phone barely four months after I got it. [I miss Android]

So what are you here to read? That is something twitterati like Sabbah Haji and Ramesh Srivats have figured out. Oh, and Vir Sanghvi too. I'm so jealous of all of them! They're so amusing and intelligent ALWAYS. And they think of all the things I wish I'd thought of. That's rather silly, I know, but I cannot help feeling most gauche and inarticulate when I read stuff they write.

I have started going to the gym regularly. And taken belly dancing lessons on Youtube. Proud of myself. Shamelessly. Now I'm going to go check out http://www.artrage.com/artrage-demos.html inspired by http://zenpencils.com/comic/50-neil-gaiman-make-good-art/

Not Yet

The most beautiful sea:
                   hasn't been crossed yet.
The most beautiful child:
                   hasn't grown up yet.
Our most beautiful days:
                   we haven't seen yet.
And the most beautiful words I wanted to tell you
                   I haven't said yet...

      - Nazim Hikmet Ran