It's Just What I Imagined

Hello all!

I say hello towards the end of my semester. Which means that I'm a little more than one month away from having only two years left to graduate. This fact is like a permanently hovering bubble around me right now since my seniors had their farewell a couple of days ago. Looking at their pictures from their first year and seeing how much they've grown is making me oddly anxious about my own time to leave. And I'm considering the possibility that maybe, just maybe, two years isn't as long as it sounds like, and that perhaps I may feel as emotional as everybody around about leaving this place. I'm considering the possibility that there may be some truth to the idea that living in hostel, at a time when we're all moving towards real adulthood (not the "I'm 16!! I know all about life" - kind) makes strong bonds. 

But until that time comes, I'm not going to know, am I? So let's not worry about it. 

So yesterday when I was out, I saw this little girl sitting behind her father on a scooter and I remembered the times in my childhood when I used to sit on the scooter behind ma or pa. I used to sit backwards, which meant that I could look at the vehicles coming towards us, veering to one direction or another, and I could even look into the cars behind us and the people inside talking or eating or whatever. And I used to find it most entertaining. Obviously, I used to hate traveling in cars because you were in this cooped-up, little metal box; there's no ease of movement, no wind, less visibility of the fun things on the road. I think that's when I decided that I would buy a motorbike when I started working. I hope that when I actually do get a job, I still have the courage to go ahead and spend that much money on a vehicle that is considered unsafe, doesn't provide safety from the weather and has this whole 'risky driving' tag associated with it. 

Anyway, listen to Lost In My Bedroom by Sky Ferreira.

So happy here 

Everything's fine 

It's crystal clear 

It's just what I imagined 

Yes, our idea of a DJ is a District Judge ...

I know it's been long, the stats of the page views showed me that. :P
But, I've been busy. I travel for one hour fifteen minutes, get to Tis Hazari, reach court after chamber work at 10:00 a.m. sharp, go about the day's cases, lunch break, work in the chamber and get back home just before 6:30 p.m. after another one hour five minutes of commuting. Once I'm back I'm usually too tired to do anything but watch tv like a bed-ridden patient.

So that's that. But the thing is, I enjoy it. I suddenly can't wait for college to end, even though that's a long, long way ahead. I can't wait to get over mere theoretical studies and the necessities of a degree and start working. I may have expected to learn a lot and enjoy the work, but I didn't expect this feeling of wanting to get out from where I am.

Though there are bad parts: the courts are hot and humid mostly, only the ones with senior judges have ACs. And we have to wait for what seems like aeons sometimes. But I try and listen to whichever case is being heard, so I get to learn even more. And I genuinely don't do much work and I can skip whenever I feel like, so it's pretty cool, all in all.

What I do love, even after two weeks, is the feeling I get when I see lawyer robes all around me; white and black suits and dresses, black blazers and white neck bands. It's amazing. I'm not even a lawyer yet but I already see the other people there, whose cases are being heard, as outsiders.

I'm glad I'm liking my first tryst with litigation, which is something I feel I should do, seeing as most people don't get into legal practice. Will be more regular soon!

(Not so) Random Ramblings: The Big A's

Heya!

There is scarcely one of us out there who has, at no point of childhood or adolescence, been asked about what s/he wants to do in life. I present no exception.

So I want to today, in written form acknowledge my Aims and Aspirations. Truth is, one never really knows about this, but one always has some kind of a vague understanding, if one judges their own behaviour.

I think aspirations consist of the values that are unbending to you: I want to be happy, I want to be powerful, or I want to leave my mark on the world. While aims are more defined achievements which help in fulfilling our aspirations.

Let me first talk about the more narrow career-oriented aims that are seemingly more important in today's world. I, as a child (till about 4th grade) wanted to be a doctor. I believe, on later thought, that this was because my father wanted to be a doctor too, and my grandmother always mentioned this to me. Then suddenly I realised that I didn't want that, and then for a year I had no 'aim'. This was followed by a long phase of wanting to be everything. I doubt there is a career I did not consider. From food technology to biotechnology to oceanography to entomology to anthropology ................. Yet there is one that I never planned to do: engineering. I'm fully certain that this is because I come from a family of engineers. My grandfather is an engineer, his two daughters are engineers, they were both married off to engineers, whose brothers too were engineers. This is my immediate blood family. If you look at my culture, the south of India, it is considered the most prestigious degree. I have reason to believe that even if my mother and her sister wanted to do something else, they will not have been allowed. This probably caused some sort of a repugnance in me towards it.

As for aspirations, I want to lead a life free from fear; of any sort. I don't want to be scared about what others think, about the effects my actions will cause, about when my boss will feel I have nothing to contribute, and also insecurity about my abilities. I never want to be hindered from doing anything by thinking about the consequences. People say we have a short life (I personally don't believe that, let us arguendo take it to be true), then why should we waste time and energy listing the pros and cons of each thing? Just do what you want to do, and have the courage to face what it results in, without attracting the ire of society. It cannot be all that bad if we do have a sort life, right? Everything will be over quickly then.

I once had a friend who, when he was little, wanted to be a truck driver. It amused his mother and other elders to repeatedly ask him that and laugh at it. Indeed it was funny. But usually, most of us want to do very grandiose things when we're children, but get over all such notions by the time we enter our teens. Its exceedingly rare to see someone who still believes that s/he can do anything, and everything. I have one particular friend who till date has multiple ambitions - musician, economist, international affairs strategist among others. And he believes that he can do all that, which is truly remarkable. He has avoided being bogged down by the relentless negativism of society; avoided being affected by all the supposedly mature and wise people who tell you to dream in your childhood, and instruct you to dismantle and discard them when you grow older. Its like the Samsung advertisement Aamir Khan did some time back - bachpan mein to itni cheezein karna chahte the, toh ab kyun nahi? or some equivalent tagline.

Today, I resolve to always and forever believe in myself and my abilities, even if it means to magnify them a little, as there is nothing that one cannot achieve if one tries hard enough .

Obviam excellentia!