Email to friend.

You know, I'm sure it's not one reason or two, but there is a reverberation about college now. This polishing away of dust and this zing. That's making lots of people excited about life again. M lovin it.

A Working List of Things I Will Never Tell You

When I said I wasn’t with another girl
the January after we fell in love for the 3rd time,
it’s because it wasn’t actual sex.

In the February that began our radio silence,
it was actual sex. I hate the tight shirts
that go below your waistline.

Not only do they make you look too young,
but then your torso is a giraffe’s neck attached to tiny legs.
I screamed at myself in the subway

for writing poems about you still.
I made a scene. I think about you almost
each morning, and roughly every five days, I still

believe you’re there.
I still masturbate to you.
When we got really bad,

I would put another coat of mop water on the floor of the bar
to make sure you were asleep when I got to my side of the bed.
You are the only person to whom I’ve lied, knowing

I was telling the truth. I miss the way your neck
wraps around my face like a cave we are both lost in.
I remember when you said being with me

is like being alone with company.
My friend Sarah wrote a poem about pink ponies.
I’m scared you’re my pink pony.

Hers is dead. It is really sad. You’re not dead.
You live in Ohio, or Washington, or Wherever.
You are a shadow my body leaves on other girls.

I have a growing queue of things I know
will make you laugh and I don’t know where to put them.
I mourn like you’re dead. If you had asked me to stay,

I would not have said no.
It would never mean yes.




- Jon Sands
http://exceptindreams.livejournal.com/176573.html

Oh, we'll find comfort

The waves flirted with the sand
The snails lost out
They rolled over rocks and turned foamy white
But retreated again,
And the crabs waited.

The clouds play hide and seek with the sun,
You can hear them saying ‘I spy’
While the sun feels cheated.
That moment of no heat is so sweet,
But the sun doesn’t back down; it shines. Again.

Two birds fly behind each other,
Looks like they want to pluck each other’s feathers,
But they circle around in merry paths,
Circle the big tree,
That just watches the fun.

A lover is like that sand, that crab, that sun, that tree,
Forever waiting, wanting the patience to wait,
Not knowing what to wish for
The sweetness of bitter longing,
Or the bitterness of requited love.

That face

The music resounds

The beat fastens

The moment heightens

And then there is quiet

Then, it’s that one face in the crowd

That one shining, glorious face

Looking at you

You looking at him

And then you dance. 

Now

Hello

So yes I got a site yesterday. And yes, I was excited. And yes, I was disappointed. There are no good widgets; you have useless stuff like weather and all. I mean come on who goes to someone's site to check the weather? Although this factor did not stop me from adding it :P

The interface is so un-user-friendly I don't even feel like updating it. I wish blogspot would offer sites. They are so clear in their designs; wordpress (god knows how its so popular) is so messed up.

Anyway, enough complaining for one post.

I watched Zubeidaa yesterday. For those of you who don't know, its an old Karisma Kapoor movie set around partition but not actually on it. Its about this Muslim girl who gets divorced by her husband because their fathers have an altercation. Silly? Definitely. Sad thing is, women throughout our civilisation have put up with such nonsense. And they refuse to support women who want to fight against dogma. Its like crabs who pull each other down to prevent them from getting out of the jar.

Anyhow she then falls in love with this king played by Manoj Bajpai, whom she later marries. So she's this girl who's voluble and beautiful and extremely temperamental because of which she feels like a chained bird in a cage with bars of royal customs and propriety and rules of conduct. When I had seen it as a kid, I'd perceived her to be the good girl and Bajpai's first wife (Mandira Devi) to be the bad woman. But yesterday, since I have grown up and I realise how some conventions need to be followed and how its harder to be disciplined than not, I saw Mandira Devi as the good one who has to put up with the rebellious and moody Zubeidaa; who in turn appeared to me to be without any sense or stability or any real, strong character. She was stubborn, volatile, selfish, and without insight or restraint. Funny how our perception changes over the years!

Its like this line in a song she performs in the movie:
Pagli hawayein mujhe jahaan bhi le jaye 
In hawaon ki saheli hoon main

Being like this might seem cool initially, but if one's nature were really like this, it would be a nightmare for everyone around, I think. By the way, there's a beautiful song called so gaye in the movie with awesome music. Do listen.

Movies like this and Pinjar are so beautiful and emotional that they leave you with this sadness which stays and gets aroused whenever you recall them.

Changing topic, I hate summers. Enough said.